it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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