Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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