she was so not down for the gang bang
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
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im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
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Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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