ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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