i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
