I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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