you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
