I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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