You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
