Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
