Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
