I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
