Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
