We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
