Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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