how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
