She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
