i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
