Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
