Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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