But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
