No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
