So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
