if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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