sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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