On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
