i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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