I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize