Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
