I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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