complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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