Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
