i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize