She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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