when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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