U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
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