Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
