areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
