Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Randomize
