I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
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I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
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I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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