I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
sex in a hospital.. check
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
