Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
