you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
