between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
