Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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