You really coming over, don't trick.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
