biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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