i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize