she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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