totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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