yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You ruined the universe
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
