What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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