I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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