you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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