VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
