In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
