she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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