Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
birth control should be required to get into college
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A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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