do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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