I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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