it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
