im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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