whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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